Sam's Social's Blog!

Being Prone to Loneliness

Our society and our accepted behaviors are huge contributing factors to being lonely. Always being on your phone. The notion that it’s okay to be on your phone with your head down even when you're with people! Having as busy a schedule as many have. We’ve found things to do such that we can entertain ourselves and don’t need anyone! We get comfy in our own little world and it becomes viewed as a burden to break out of that world.

We’ve geared ourselves to always having something to do – not necessarily to do something with someone else. We’ve gotten so bad that we’ve backed ourselves into a corner and with the trends with mannerisms we’ve established, it’s a little scary! 

The problem is that it’s not recognized until there really is a problem and all of our accepted behaviors aren’t as accepted as they once were! You don't want the person across from you on their phone when you want to have a conversation! We’ve even created expressions to make it okay for these previously accepted behaviors… like… hater’s gone hate!
There’s a need to call out these problems and put ourselves first. Make new interaction okay. And when it comes time, this isn’t a small movement. Loneliness effects a considerable portion of today’s society and it carries health consequences. So identify what contributes to your situation and look for ways to make the situation better. And that making the situation better - makes everyone better!

Jan 29, 2019

Stay Active in the Winter! Socialize!

Time doesn’t stop just because it’s cold outside. Life moves on. You can be more isolated in the winter. Everything’s a little tougher. Finding excuses not to do something becomes much easier. It all comes back to that one little statement – life does move on. Everyone else is. Our society moves too fast and if you snooze, you lose.   

Knowing this creates a challenge. A positive and doable challenge. Challenging things that make you better are what matters. It cascades through the rest of your life – through work and all different types of relationships. Identify the relationships that challenge you and make you better and grow them. This could apply to a skill but it also applies to our relationships. Nurture those that challenge you and if they don’t, find something that does! 

Jan 25, 2019

Keep the spark alive!

One key component to keeping the spark alive is for each person to be happy! Engaging in social activities together with peer couples that you both enjoy fills basic needs for both partners. Creating shared experiences associates happiness and fulfilling social experiences with your partner which strengthens your alliance and partnership.
It’s natural to keep the spark alive if you foster a healthy environment for it. If you deny yourself elements that you have become accustomed to, desire for those elements continues to exist and failure occurs. These elements need to evolve into something healthy that you both enjoy. These elements include, but are not limited to, your social environments and interaction, your physical appearance, and your habits when you interact with your partner. 

Jan 22, 2019

Turning Down Social Invites from Depressing Friends

There’s one thing that’s a given in life.  People change.  They move.  They get into relationships.  They get out of relationships.  They have kids.  Their views change.  They get depressed.  They’re not someone you can be around anymore.  Life changes and the result of which is you have less people in your life which affects you.  You don’t wanna be around people that make you unhappy but you also don’t wanna be alone.  There’s a moral conundrum here that seems simple but is more complex upon closer examination.

The biggest question is – do I have someone else to do things with?  If you do, great.  It’s an easy band aid to rip off and that’s what needs to be done.  Take a timeout and hang out with other friends.  Allow each of you to grow up a bit.  If you don’t have a lot of friends, things are tougher because while the other person may bring you down, they are filling a void and there are moments that you enjoy it with that other person.  It’s still not a good relationship but it’s better than nothing and it does fill that void.

But the problem isn’t solved.  You’re still around someone you don’t wanna be around.  So you need a replacement but finding a replacement isn’t an easy task.  A lot goes into friendships in the first place especially over time and making a friend is not like dating.  I can’t look at a picture and tell if I’m going to be friends with them.  Everyone on Facebook looks so happy and they’re all doing unique things so they really don’t look like they need new friends.  So what you do?

At Sam’s Social we deal with the change in life, identifying the problem, and providing a solution to fix it.  We want to give people back what they’ve lost: friends!  So they’re not in this position.  Our members state in their profiles if they wanna meet new people and what exactly they want to do!  Sam allows you to meet by relationship type (social, couple, crew, fam, dating) and gives you a complete picture (not the perfect one) to make it easy to make a new friend.

If it’s not meant to work, it’s not going to work.  Especially in this age where we move so fast.  Loneliness, though, is a real problem in today’s age.  You probably feel it and they may feel it as well.  In a May 2018 CIGNA study, 46% of people reported feeling alone some or all of the time.  It carries with it its own set of side effects and you need to be cognizant of this to not potentially hurt someone. 

If they’re a strong person and you both have a lot of friends, it makes things a lot easier.  If they send out too many invites, there shouldn’t be the expectation of continual acceptance.  If there’s not, things do get a little harder.  So let’s walk through the ways this can play out.

The optimal scenario is where both of you move on and grow.  One of the things that we do it Sam’s Social is there’s a crew profile which is designed to make friends with your friends.  You can help this person find new friends and you can find new friends yourself.  It may sound cheesy, but you can lead this person on a path towards other things and leave on good terms.  At one point, they were actually a friend and you can be the bigger person.

Another scenario is the gradual withdrawal from the friendship.  Be less interesting.  Not be available to them.  At some point, they will get the message and the relationship will move to where you want it to be.  They won’t wanna be around you because you’re not what you were. Again, you’re not helping the other individual, but you’re also doing what’s best for yourself and sometimes you need to do good things for yourself.  Put the back of bricks down and enjoy life.

The last scenario is to confront them and just end it or not say anything at all and not reply.  This obviously ends the relationship which ends some of your pain but also burns a bridge to the future.

The bottom line is – it’s OK to turn down something that makes you feel bad.  There is inherently something toxic.  Never feel bad about something that makes you better off.  Just have an eye to how are you want the scenario to play out in the future.  You can use each other to grow or you can leave pain and regret for both of you.

Jan 10, 2019

Video games and Having Friends!

I love video games.  There’s a game out there for everyone and everyone can spend a lot of time on them.  You have your own community.  You interact and make friends.  Or not.  But the reliance on the game(s) creates a dependency for the game.  And as lovable as they are, it’s not healthy.

People can suck sometimes and games are fun and you can do what you want to create a positive feeling, but life doesn’t move forward.  The biggest thing is recognizing this, using it, if an using what you’ve learned in your games.

Recognizing it is pretty simple.  you’re not going to interact with anyone in real life if you’re not around anyone.  You can’t do that while you’re on the game and life doesn’t change.  That can be depressing and cause other side effects that are not helpful.  

Recognizing the side effects is imperative because you shouldn’t be harming yourself and you need to know that.  Use Sam or your existing friends.  Have fun!  Get out and take care of yourself.  Stepping away from the game helps put a lot of things in perspective.

If you do have trouble meeting people, don’t let those gaming skills go to waste!  Whether or not you’ve realized it, playing video games teach you to be analytical, combative, appreciative, fun, and engaging!  Don’t be a geek about it, but realize the fact that if you worked socially adept before, you may be more so now.  You just have to realize it and apply it to the new situation!

Jan 07, 2019

How To Be More Social If You Are Introverted

Being social when you are introverted is a tough thing in today's age.  There's a lot of tools out there to help you but many of them only take you part of the way.  It leaves someone in this position short.  The solutions they find that don't necessarily get them to their end goal.

Interaction in real life today also doesn't help a person who may be introverted.  Our primary focus is with our device or the task at hand.  It has become more difficult to strike up a conversation when people are constantly engaged and don't open up a window for new interaction.

And this shows.  Loneliness studies have become more prevalent!  A May 2018 study conducted by CIGNA and UCLA found that 46% of those studied felt lonely some or all of the time.  So the first thing to do - is recognize that you're not alone!  This is a problem and it needs to be dealt with!

The next thing you need to do is break the mold!  This is a tough thing to do.  You have established a way of handling things that you are comfortable with and you like the result.  Take it the next up.  The optimal situation is to engage with someone you have some rapport with.  Break that mold by suggesting something fun that you two would both do any ways.  It's a good trick to doing new things that you will still be comfortable with.

Another thing you can do is to find an online environment that breeds new friendships in real life.  Find a place where this is the focus and the thought of interacting with someone new in real life is accepted.  Contacting someone that is not looking for this interaction may have a detrimental effect as your attempt can make you feel like you did something wrong.  You need to be setup for success!

I don't necessarily recommend onetime or infrequently occurring event functions based off an interest.  The focus tends to be on the interest and after the interest, there's no relatable factors between you and the people at the event.  Leagues, activities, classes, or groups that meet regularly give you a chance to develop that rapport over time to allow you to break that mold!

And the biggest key is knowing these three things and combining them.  There is a problem - I'm breaking the mold to do new things while still being comfortable - and I'm going to an environment where I can be setup to have success.  The last step is being diligent.  Failure is part of anything in life, but applying this cycle and putting in that little extra effort can change your life.  

This article is also published on Upjourney... see what other experts have to say on this important topic!

Jan 03, 2019

If you're doing new things... Why Not Do Something Good!

Sam's Social is here to help people and change people's lives! It's not easy to break the norm and that's what you're doing! So for that - we at Sam's Social - Congratulate you!

But let's really get wild! Let's multiply the good vibes and when you make your next friend, do something good together! Go to a local shelter and take a needing dog for a walk! Help out at a local food bank! Burn a little energy and then go grab lunch, dinner, or a beer together and have something good to reminisce about!

Share your stories on Sam and have fun!

... and when you go to these charities, tell them about Sam's Social and how we're helping in two ways!

Dec 20, 2018

The Android and iOS Apps Are Here!

You can get the iOS app here or the Android app here. Thank you for your support as we look to grow into the future!

Nov 01, 2018

Apps Coming Soon!

Sam's Social is coming to your local App Store.   We are excited to offer our services to more users in more ways.

Sep 19, 2018