Sam's Social's Blog!

Brutal Job?

Work these days isn’t getting any friendlier.  Everyone’s working longer and longer hours and putting it ahead of everything else in their lives.  It may seem like the right thing to do…  Or what you have to do…  But it’s important to look ahead to see where you may end up.  Part of life is getting ahead, but it’s also helpful to remember that you have something to come home to at the end of the day.

It’s helpful at these times to plan ahead!  You may not have a lot of time – so make the most of it!  Do something that you both may have wanted to do for a while – go to a new restaurant, see that movie you wanted to.  It may be easy to sit on the couch after a long day, but help keeping relationships going will have unforeseen benefits.

When the busy period does end, that other person will be grateful that you didn’t leave a void in their life as well.  Just remember – a relationship is a two way street! It may also help get you through some of those long days.  Think back on the good times that you had during downtime all at work.  We spend so much time by ourselves these days and time with those that engage us actually does have physical benefits!

Sep 02, 2019

Being Prone to Loneliness

Our society and our accepted behaviors are huge contributing factors to being lonely. Always being on your phone. The notion that it’s okay to be on your phone with your head down even when you're with people! Having as busy a schedule as many have. We’ve found things to do such that we can entertain ourselves and don’t need anyone! We get comfy in our own little world and it becomes viewed as a burden to break out of that world.
We’ve geared ourselves to always having something to do – not necessarily to do something with someone else. We’ve gotten so bad that we’ve backed ourselves into a corner and with the trends with mannerisms we’ve established, it’s a little scary! 

The problem is that it’s not recognized until there really is a problem and all of our accepted behaviors aren’t as accepted as they once were! You don't want the person across from you on their phone when you want to have a conversation! We’ve even created expressions to make it okay for these previously accepted behaviors… like… hater’s gone hate!

There’s a need to call out these problems and put ourselves first. Make new interaction okay. And when it comes time, this isn’t a small movement. Loneliness effects a considerable portion of today’s society and it carries health consequences. So identify what contributes to your situation and look for ways to make the situation better. And that making the situation better - makes everyone better! 

Aug 14, 2019

Growing with Sam

Being single and dating

Everyone relies upon dating as the primary activity in their lives when their single, however some of the best times that we have are with our friends.  The people you’re dating can come and go, but your real friends stick around for awhile.  But sometimes they’re not around.  There at a different point in their life than you are.  It’s part of life for all of us.

Sam wants to change the way we interact and make us all happier.  When we were young, we, a group of guys, would meet up and do things together.  We’d need a group of girls…  Or guys and expand our friendships and form new relationships.  It was easy because everything was right there.

Today, your friends from a previous day are not right there.  But new friends are or new friends waiting to be made.  Make some new friends first and have fun!.  That’s what the Social profile on Sam’s Social is there to do.  From there, form a crew profile with your friends and meet other crews!  Go on a double date with your friends that are in the same boat as you are!

It’s nice to be able to show off your friendships because that’s what happens in real life.  Friendships are not a mailing list.  There something real and should be used to create something real!  The best relationships are formed through your friends and that’s what Sam is giving you the opportunity to do.  We’re all busy these days and crew interaction is the easiest way to allow us to do what we once did – make friends and form relationships with our friends!

Lasting relationships

Once you do meet that special someone, your life changes a bit.  You don’t necessarily want to go to singles events.  You would like to do something with your partner.  The need for meeting new people doesn’t change – it doesn’t go away.  It’s part of your life and it’s a good part!  Going to singles events wouldn’t make your partner very happy, but doing things that fulfills this need of meeting new people with your partner helps build and grow with your relationship!

Sam lets you show off your relationship the a couples profile.  Meeting other couples with your partner is a concept that isn’t as prominent as it should be in our society.  The rate of divorce is far too high today.  We become isolated in our relationships and if our relationships become isolated, destructive things can happen.  You may not have to like every other couple that you meet, but it will give you something to do and grow as a couple!

Sam believes it’s important to call out concepts!  Each type of interaction is important – whether it be via the social profile, as a crew, couple, or via dating.  If we change the way we interact online to reflect the way we actually interact in real life, good things can happen and allow us to grow!

Jun 30, 2019

Breaking the ice

One of the hardest parts of the meeting new people is breaking the ice. Hi! What’s up?  The initial pleasantries are easy but getting into that next place can be difficult.  At Sam’s Social, we give you the tools to meet new people.  We would be leaving ourselves short if we did an offer suggestions to help you meet people in real life as well as on Sam.

The first part of the equation is to keep things in a form that you are comfortable with.  You have to be you.  If you’re not having fun or are comfortable with the situation, you’re not going to look back on the meeting positively.  That doesn’t mean other people are going to do exactly what you want to do.  There will be some compromise as this is a new experience for the other person as well.

The second part of breaking the ice is to break the ice!  You will have to get out of that comfort zone and make the first move!  Sam’s social creates an environment for meeting new people so it may be a little easier here.  In the real world, it’s beneficial to meet in a repetitive environment.  Whether it be a classroom, gym, coffeehouse, a place where a repour and small conversations can be had is advantageous in many ways.  It doesn’t put all the pressure on you at once.  It allows you to gather information to determine if there is a match.  

At some point you have to go for it and ask the big question – to do something outside of the normal method of interacting with this person!  To maximize success, it may be best to do something common – “grab a beer” or “have coffee” – something in a public place that everyone is comfortable with. Be energetic and positive but don’t be overbearing.  You’ve done your best and that’s all you can do! There’s nothing wrong with the other person saying no or declining – you don’t know their life and everything they have going on.

Making friends at a bar can be a little more cavalier!  You go to bars and can have a great time – the one cavaet with the one time situation is that it may or may not be real. I say that because the other person may not always be like they are that night. They may have looked at you as a stranger and had fun with the one-time aspect – not realizing you may want to meet again.  Again – it’s part of breaking the ice – to try! The results may not always be what you expect but failure is part of the process.

Good luck and happy hunting!

Apr 20, 2019

Even Cool Kids Need New Friends!

Many of articles posted here have some common do-gooder theme to them. And there’s those out there that think – this isn’t for me. I’m good. For some – this will be true as they are very lucky, but for the large majority of the cool kid population – this will not always be the case.

The fact is your friends are not always going to be there.  Marriage.  Moving.  More time at work.  Other friends.  It’s not a matter of if but when.  It’s part of life and you may go through a period where you are constantly replacing the friends with new ones on your own and never even realize it.  At some point though, your friend number dwindles and you find yourself in a different position.

The good news is life isn’t over.  We all have our tastes and our styles and and our own ideologies.  We knew these things about our friends.  Getting to know these things about strangers is generally a little bit tougher.  We get it.  That’s why Sam is here.  To give the initial introduction and break the ice.  You may not find someone as cool as you write off the bat...  Or you might not be as cool as them…  But it’s a start.

There is a hurdle with making new friends because it’s not easy to do.  Sam provides a series of challenges to build you up and make the process easier.  You may not need them, but they’re there for reason.  It’s worth the effort because there is a downside to losing friends and you don’t wanna go down that path.

Sam offers a series of tools to make meeting easy but also to prepare you.  It may be boring, but between losing friends and everything that goes into making new friends, it is a lot of work.  Reading this blog may be dull at times but it shows how life can evolve without one knowing it and put them in a position they don’t wanna be in.  Sam can solve all your problems but I can provide tools to help you be a little bit happier. 

Mar 02, 2019

Friends at Any Age!

Life changes for a solid some point.  When were younger, were more attuned to handle the changes.  As you get older, it’s not always as easy.  At any age though, it takes a little bit of energy to get out of your comfort zone and do new things and meet new people!

This article focuses more on our friends that are up in age because making new friends is it necessarily associated with older folks.  They’re forgotten about this process.  Yet they can be some of the ones that need our service and the focus the most.  Younger people that need friends have more recently experienced what it takes to make a new friend.

Parents that have had their children leave for college or are retiring and even relocating someplace new have it needed to make new friends for a significant period of time because they’ve always had another focus…  Children, work, their environment has been stable and occupied by something else.

It can be an overwhelming task but it’s one that needs to be done.  There’s plenty of hardships that come with loneliness that you can research but that’s not what we’re talking about today.  We’re here to say it’s OK to make new friends and Sam’s Social gives many tools to make you successful.  

Sam matches you on personality characteristics that are important in deciding if you can be friends with a person.  After all, being friends with someone is more complicated than just looking at a picture.  We also have a couples profile to allow you to meet other couples with your partner.

A great way to begin the process of meeting new people is to join a gym and even take a class or engage in group activity.  It’s proactive, informal, and there’s no pressure.  You also don’t have to meet someone the first day.  Feel out the situation and engage when you’re comfortable.  Going to the gym also establishes a schedule for you to be in an environment with others!

As making friends isn’t easy, it may be helpful to tell groups that you are part of about the Sam’s Social service.  You can also register a social club and Sam’s Social can reach out an make an introduction to your members or provide flyers to post at local events.

Feb 05, 2019

The best places to meet new people

So you’re looking to make a few new friends and you have no idea where to go.  If you may be new to the area.  You may not have needed two for a while.  It’s a daunting question.  We’re here to help give you some ideas to help you be successful and why others may not work as well.

The first scenario is if you’ve met someone on Sam and you know a little bit about them but aren’t quite sure if it’s going to work.  A restaurant or bar that you’re comfortable with is the optimal choice.  It provides you a social environment to become comfortable and focus on one another.  You need to be able to establish a vibe and restaurants and bars allows you to do it.  A bar also provides you an easy out if things don’t go to your liking.

Restaurants and bars work great when you’re meeting someone new.  If you’re not meeting someone you know, it’s a roll of the dice.  You can certainly do some research to improve your odds, but the fact is the person you may sit down next to may have no desire to make friends, maybe nothing like you and may cause more harm than good.  Obviously, this is the worst case scenario and many people do make friends in bars. 

Work varies by environment.  As you climb the ranks, it becomes more and more difficult for this to be an optimal place.  The writing will be on the wall as to if this is a good idea.

A great place for meeting new people is at your local gym.  It provides a regular environment where everything doesn’t have to happen in one day.  A relationship can be built over time and a can be done and in an environment where you both have an interest in a common element – exercise class, weight lifting, basketball, etc.  You will at some point have to break the ice, but you have a good start to be successful!

Other classes, leagues, or repetitive environments, such as church, focusing on an interest are a great place to meet people as well.  Like the gym - you don’t have to make friends all in one day.  The goal is to be in an environment that you are comfortable with - around people with similar interests to yourself.  

IMPORTANT – a common interest does not guarantee you are a perfect match!  It’s something that provides for good vibes and something to talk about.  It does not match you on the criteria that are necessarily important to you in the friends that you keep.  For many it is a helpful recommendation, for others it may not be a realistic option.  

When meeting at a bar, there is no common interest.  The other person may or may not be looking to be social.  All you can do is try.  Break the ice.  It may work.  It may not.  As I said at the beginning - it’s a daunting question.  Being set up to succeed goes a long way and that’s what Sam is there for!  Happy hunting!

Feb 15, 2019

Turning Down Social Invites from Depressing Friends

There’s one thing that’s a given in life.  People change.  They move.  They get into relationships.  They get out of relationships.  They have kids.  Their views change.  They get depressed.  They’re not someone you can be around anymore.  Life changes and the result of which is you have less people in your life which affects you.  You don’t wanna be around people that make you unhappy but you also don’t wanna be alone.  There’s a moral conundrum here that seems simple but is more complex upon closer examination.

The biggest question is – do I have someone else to do things with?  If you do, great.  It’s an easy band aid to rip off and that’s what needs to be done.  Take a timeout and hang out with other friends.  Allow each of you to grow up a bit.  If you don’t have a lot of friends, things are tougher because while the other person may bring you down, they are filling a void and there are moments that you enjoy it with that other person.  It’s still not a good relationship but it’s better than nothing and it does fill that void.

But the problem isn’t solved.  You’re still around someone you don’t wanna be around.  So you need a replacement but finding a replacement isn’t an easy task.  A lot goes into friendships in the first place especially over time and making a friend is not like dating.  I can’t look at a picture and tell if I’m going to be friends with them.  Everyone on Facebook looks so happy and they’re all doing unique things so they really don’t look like they need new friends.  So what you do?

At Sam’s Social we deal with the change in life, identifying the problem, and providing a solution to fix it.  We want to give people back what they’ve lost: friends!  So they’re not in this position.  Our members state in their profiles if they wanna meet new people and what exactly they want to do!  Sam allows you to meet by relationship type (social, couple, crew, fam, dating) and gives you a complete picture (not the perfect one) to make it easy to make a new friend.

If it’s not meant to work, it’s not going to work.  Especially in this age where we move so fast.  Loneliness, though, is a real problem in today’s age.  You probably feel it and they may feel it as well.  In a May 2018 CIGNA study, 46% of people reported feeling alone some or all of the time.  It carries with it its own set of side effects and you need to be cognizant of this to not potentially hurt someone. 

If they’re a strong person and you both have a lot of friends, it makes things a lot easier.  If they send out too many invites, there shouldn’t be the expectation of continual acceptance.  If there’s not, things do get a little harder.  So let’s walk through the ways this can play out.

The optimal scenario is where both of you move on and grow.  One of the things that we do it Sam’s Social is there’s a crew profile which is designed to make friends with your friends.  You can help this person find new friends and you can find new friends yourself.  It may sound cheesy, but you can lead this person on a path towards other things and leave on good terms.  At one point, they were actually a friend and you can be the bigger person.

Another scenario is the gradual withdrawal from the friendship.  Be less interesting.  Not be available to them.  At some point, they will get the message and the relationship will move to where you want it to be.  They won’t wanna be around you because you’re not what you were. Again, you’re not helping the other individual, but you’re also doing what’s best for yourself and sometimes you need to do good things for yourself.  Put the back of bricks down and enjoy life.

The last scenario is to confront them and just end it or not say anything at all and not reply.  This obviously ends the relationship which ends some of your pain but also burns a bridge to the future.

The bottom line is – it’s OK to turn down something that makes you feel bad.  There is inherently something toxic.  Never feel bad about something that makes you better off.  Just have an eye to how are you want the scenario to play out in the future.  You can use each other to grow or you can leave pain and regret for both of you.

Jan 10, 2019

Video games and Having Friends!

I love video games.  There’s a game out there for everyone and everyone can spend a lot of time on them.  You have your own community.  You interact and make friends.  Or not.  But the reliance on the game(s) creates a dependency for the game.  And as lovable as they are, it’s not healthy.

People can suck sometimes and games are fun and you can do what you want to create a positive feeling, but life doesn’t move forward.  The biggest thing is recognizing this, using it, if an using what you’ve learned in your games.

Recognizing it is pretty simple.  you’re not going to interact with anyone in real life if you’re not around anyone.  You can’t do that while you’re on the game and life doesn’t change.  That can be depressing and cause other side effects that are not helpful.  

Recognizing the side effects is imperative because you shouldn’t be harming yourself and you need to know that.  Use Sam or your existing friends.  Have fun!  Get out and take care of yourself.  Stepping away from the game helps put a lot of things in perspective.

If you do have trouble meeting people, don’t let those gaming skills go to waste!  Whether or not you’ve realized it, playing video games teach you to be analytical, combative, appreciative, fun, and engaging!  Don’t be a geek about it, but realize the fact that if you worked socially adept before, you may be more so now.  You just have to realize it and apply it to the new situation!

Jan 10, 2019

How To Be More Social If You Are Introverted

Being social when you are introverted is a tough thing in today's age.  There's a lot of tools out there to help you but many of them only take you part of the way.  It leaves someone in this position short.  The solutions they find that don't necessarily get them to their end goal.

Interaction in real life today also doesn't help a person who may be introverted.  Our primary focus is with our device or the task at hand.  It has become more difficult to strike up a conversation when people are constantly engaged and don't open up a window for new interaction.

And this shows.  Loneliness studies have become more prevalent!  A May 2018 study conducted by CIGNA and UCLA found that 46% of those studied felt lonely some or all of the time.  So the first thing to do - is recognize that you're not alone!  This is a problem and it needs to be dealt with!

The next thing you need to do is break the mold!  This is a tough thing to do.  You have established a way of handling things that you are comfortable with and you like the result.  Take it the next up.  The optimal situation is to engage with someone you have some rapport with.  Break that mold by suggesting something fun that you two would both do any ways.  It's a good trick to doing new things that you will still be comfortable with.

Another thing you can do is to find an online environment that breeds new friendships in real life.  Find a place where this is the focus and the thought of interacting with someone new in real life is accepted.  Contacting someone that is not looking for this interaction may have a detrimental effect as your attempt can make you feel like you did something wrong.  You need to be setup for success!

I don't necessarily recommend onetime or infrequently occurring event functions based off an interest.  The focus tends to be on the interest and after the interest, there's no relatable factors between you and the people at the event.  Leagues, activities, classes, or groups that meet regularly give you a chance to develop that rapport over time to allow you to break that mold!

And the biggest key is knowing these three things and combining them.  There is a problem - I'm breaking the mold to do new things while still being comfortable - and I'm going to an environment where I can be setup to have success.  The last step is being diligent.  Failure is part of anything in life, but applying this cycle and putting in that little extra effort can change your life.  

This article is also published on Upjourney... see what other experts have to say on this important topic!

Jan 29, 2019

If you're doing new things... Why Not Do Something Good!

Sam's Social is here to help people and change people's lives! It's not easy to break the norm and that's what you're doing! So for that - we at Sam's Social - Congratulate you!

But let's really get wild! Let's multiply the good vibes and when you make your next friend, do something good together! Go to a local shelter and take a needing dog for a walk! Help out at a local food bank! Burn a little energy and then go grab lunch, dinner, or a beer together and have something good to reminisce about!

Share your stories on Sam and have fun!

... and when you go to these charities, tell them about Sam's Social and how we're helping in two ways!

Oct 25, 2018